Chelsea has always dreamed of serving her country. As a girl, she was the youngest of four children, and she remembers vividly how distinguished her older brothers looked when they came home on leave in their uniforms. Chelsea admired her brothers, and she wanted to be like them when she grew up.
When Chelsea turned 18, she signed up to join the U.S. Air Force on the delayed entry program.
Chelsea left home for basic training in San Antonio, Texas, one week after graduating high school. After technical training, she was stationed at Holloman Air Force Base in New Mexico.
One day, she met Matt during her gym time after work, and they instantly hit it off. They worked out together, studied together, and were basically joined at the hip. If you saw one, you saw the other.
They were both smart, young airmen making Senior Airman Below The Zone three months apart from each other. They were great accountability partners who challenged each other to give 100% in everything they strived for.
Eventually, after returning from leave and meeting each other’s parents over a holiday trip, they decided to get married. They married on December 31st, bringing in the new year together, and moved into base housing the following month.
Three months later, Chelsea learned that she was expecting her first child, and she was over the moon excited because her life was working out how she dreamed it would.
However, after a few years, Chelsea and Matt grew apart, ultimately resulting in a divorce and Matt getting stationed overseas, leaving Chelsea as a full-time single mom. Although she has a family care plan, her family is 1,300 miles away on a ranch in Minnesota.
The people in the story are fabricated; however, as a prior supervisor to young Airmen, this story is quite common, sometimes resulting in positive outcomes and sometimes not so positive.
I thought, therefore, after researching stories like this, I would offer some practical advice from other veteran women for those young women who want to serve in the military with a child.
“Never forget to take time for yourself. You can get so absorbed with motherhood and career progression that you forget to care for yourself. Take your time and don’t feel bad about it.”—T., USAF Veteran.
“Keep your integrity at all times because they are watching you. Show them that anything is possible by serving and taking care of them at the same time.”—T.K., USAF Veteran.
“Motherhood was great and challenging in the military at the same time. I met many great people who became my village and literally helped me to raise my children. I am still friends with so many of the people I served with. They are also part of my life and my children’s lives. The difficult part was in the many field exercises and PCS moves (short tours) that necessitated that I be away from them for long periods of time. This ultimately made my decision to separate after almost eight years. I was given an assignment that would have taken me away from my children once again, and I decided I wanted to raise them myself and not have to send them to relatives. I wanted to be there for all their firsts, and everything else.”—April, USA Veteran.
Your military experience is what you make of it. If it is your passion to serve this country and raise children, it is a challenge, but it is definitely possible. Thank you for your service, sacrifice, and contribution to anyone out there who has done it or is doing it.