You choose
We make choices every day, from when we get up until we fall asleep. Many of these are “unconscious” reactions but are still a choice.
How often have you said, “So-and-so made me mad!” blaming your reaction on another person?
Most of us react to situations without really thinking about it. It is easier to blame someone else for your reaction than take responsibility for it.
“It is so-and-so’s fault. He made me mad!”
No, he didn’t. So-and-so may have said or done something that upsets you, but in reality, you reacted unconsciously and made the choice to be mad.
Every time we do that, we give the other person a certain amount of control over ourselves. You may have heard this expression before, but it still holds true: they are now “living rent-free in your head!”
When you get home and tell your spouse about it, they are still in your head. You relay this situation to your co-workers the next day, they’re still in your head. This can impact everything else you are doing. Maybe in a minor way, but it is there.
It does not have to be this way.
We need to realize, that what’s happening is simply what’s happening, regardless of what anyone does, or what situation arises, we can always choose how to react to it!
Make a different choice
Realizing you control your reactions is a liberating feeling. BEWARE, however! This is a double-edged sword. You can no longer blame someone else while you accept control over your reactions. You must take full responsibility for how you choose to react.
There will be times when you will choose to get mad. While likely not the most advantageous option, this is all right if you accept that this is your choice and not the other person’s fault.
You now have the choice to accept what you have just read or choose to ignore it. Acceptance and implementation will be challenging, but it can change your life. I work on it every day. Some days are better than others. It is a journey.
The point is…the choice is yours.
Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional. I offer advice based solely on my individual experiences, provided as a reference to assist you in your decision-making. Please consult a mental health professional if you feel you are struggling with PTSD, anger management, or any other issues that may be impacting your ability to interact well with others.
EDITOR’S NOTE: Richard Corson is a FireWatch Magazine Health & Wellness Contributor.