When someone tells a veteran, “Thank you for your service,” it is meant to be a gesture of goodwill and acknowledgment. For a veteran on the receiving end, it can bring up a bucket load of feelings, some good, some not so good. It can even bring up feelings of guilt.
Kevin Suba served in the Army, followed by time spent in government work. Altogether, just over a decade in government service. After his service, he dealt with highs and lows related to personal guilt.
Kevin had been an intel guy supporting combat operations. He wasn’t in the thick of battle but behind the scenes. Upon returning home from deployment, seeing other service members who had been injured or who died left Kevin with a sense of guilt for not having made the same sacrifice.
“I played college baseball, and ten of us from that team joined the military after 9/11,” Kevin shares. “Two of my teammates became Navy Seals, including my good friend Jason. Jason did some real stuff, man. That guy, I’d say he is my hero. When I think about all the stuff that he went through compared to my experience, well, I didn’t experience anything close to that.”
What happens to some who return home from war? They don’t feel like they deserve it. It can be anything: pity, concern, medical care, or disability.
Kevin had injuries that stemmed from his service but didn’t explore medical benefits upon exiting the military. Finally, a fellow service member said, “When are you going to just go to the VA?”
The friend also introduced Kevin to a representative from Wounded Warriors, who was able to get him to submit to help. What was important for Kevin to hear was that his healing journey was not just for him but for his family too.
“Fast forward, and I can’t believe my wife is still with me for all the things I put her through post-deployment,” says Kevin. “But in hindsight, my experience of getting help and opening up really changed my life and allowed me to breathe again. I finally understood what my problems were and was able to address them.”
Kevin admits to avoiding help to save his security clearance. “VA questionnaires would ask about anger issues, and I would lie and say I was fine, knowing an honest answer could impact my security clearance,” he explains.
“Finally, two or three years ago, when I finally went back to the VA, I had to laugh when I admitted to my wife that I had answered the questionnaire truthfully. I didn’t have my clearance anymore, so the answers didn’t matter.”
Nevertheless, Kevin struggled with many things after his time in service, from marriage issues to health and fitness issues and, of course, career issues.
“I thought I had to put my career first,” Kevin says. “I was always trying to get to the next level, climbing the corporate ladder. All that mattered was how much money I could make, and I began to lose my identity. I was really lost.”
The time finally came when Kevin decided to take control of his life, taking on the risks of being self-employed and owning his own business. Knowing the risks, he invested in a general business coach, which turned out to be a game changer.
“The coach who impacted me the most used a concept called the Core Four,” Kevin says.
Understanding how impactful this coaching program had been for him, Kevin designed and launched 5S Solutions, which offers business coaching using a similar concept he calls “The Four Pillars: Health, Relationships, Direction, and Wealth,” whereby concentrating equally on these four pillars, any person can build a strong and stable life.
“I learned that taking care of your own health must be a priority,” explains Kevin. “You can put everyone and everything else first and neglect your own well-being, but in the end, you don’t have the energy to be a good parent or person.”
Having a coach who can help you prioritize your days, weeks, and months while keeping focus on the essential four pillars of life can be a game changer for anyone.
With 5S Solutions, Kevin can offer coaching systems to help others get through the struggles he dealt with in his own life.
To learn more about 5S Solutions, visit www.fiveSsolutions.com
Written By: Toni Hedstrom